only1day: (Default)
Player Name: Ryochan
Player Journal: [personal profile] ribeiiru
Player Age: 30

Character Name: Pacifica Ocean (AKA: Paz Ortega Andrade)
Canon: Metal Gear Solid
Medium: Game

Character Age: 24
Canon Point: After being ejected from METAL GEAR ZEKE

Why did you choose this character?: I chose Paz because, although I found her a shallow and somewhat-obnoxious character at first, when I listened to the hidden tapes in the game and found out the truth about her, I felt she was quite interesting. I especially liked that, despite the fact she obviously had very little hope for any form of real peace, at least for herself, some part of her still desired, even if only for a little while, to be able to be the same as everyone else, and enjoy life without a thought of war.

Give a brief idea of how your character will react to the setting: Paz will be quite confused to begin, as the technology is right around forty years ahead of her time, but she'll adjust in time. She will settle right into being confined to a role, as well. However, I think, barring anyone from Cipher showing up, she will be able to, and maybe enjoy being able to, create a new life for herself within the city, while at the same time doing what she's always done; continuing to survive.

Paz spends a large portion of her time using a false personality, usually in order to suit her needs or accomplish her goals, whether they be her own or Cipher's (or even the KGB's). This personality generally comes across as a pleasant young woman who loves peace, and is like almost all teenage girls of the age she gives (sixteen). Yet Paz is far different once one delves beneath the surface.

Coming across as serious, and intent on only finishing her mission, she's actually a very fearful young woman. Although deep down she is thankful for Cipher for taking her in after she was orphaned as a young woman, she also fears to go against them, lest she suffer a fate worse than death, as she frequently puts it. What this fate is she never says, and it becomes obvious that in her fear she does not like to speak of it, or to even think of it if possible; although it is always returned to the forefront of her mind.

Due to that fear, when she lets her guard down, one finds that Paz presents a hatred of the world and the people in it. She states things like how stupid people are, or how stupid their games are (or in one case while with Cecile, she states just how stupid it is to go on and on about boys). Yet, she also speaks about these things with a slight wistfullness at points, at one time even stating that it felt good to play soccer with all the men of the MSF, to run and enjoy the sun.

This shown hatred also comes about in how she acts to those around her when she isn't acting as someone else, as she tells them just how foolish they are, and often makes comments that imply they are only useful for whatever purpose has been set for them. She acts as if they are not of any concern of hers, and as if she doesn't need to deal with them at all unless they have some reason to be dealing with her. With this, she also rarely talks about herself, preferring to turn the conversation away. Much of the latter comes from a sense of distrust of others, mostly brought on by Cipher, but also her life in general.

Paz' general view is that people live to be used, and that one must either be the one using or be used themselves. There is no gentleness in people that makes them connect merely to be friends, and that everyone has an ulterior motive. She herself prefers to be the one to use those around her, as was shown by how easily she continued to break Zadornov out time after time; the guards would trust her, and thus she would use that trust to get him free.

That wishing to gain trust, so that it can be broken, forces Paz to use many faces and many personalities that are not necessarily her. Each word is carefully chosen to have the best impact, to make others believe she is in need of protection and nothing more than a young woman. And because of it, because they fall for it, again Paz begins to believe that they are foolish, and thus repeats the cycle that she has for most of her life been a part of.

Unfortunately, despite showing all of this on the surface, Paz is really just a little girl on the inside. Deep down, in the places she is loathe to admit she even has, she wishes to be accepted for who she is, without the false personalities she puts forward. She wishes to be able to enjoy days of peace without having to think of her next job, or what tomorrow will bring, and she wishes to feel the love of those around her quite deeply. Yet she is afraid to reach out for any of it, and hides it very deep down inside behind a wall of lies and falsities.

On the Paz Personality and Big Boss:  The personality that is kept up throughout the game is that of a sixteen year-old student who values peace.  A girl whose family was killed in war, she holds no vengeance to those who killed them and wishes only that the world can find it's way to peace.  Paz is studying the Costa Rican Peace Constitution under the guidance of of Ramón Gálvez Mena, who is in truth a KGB agent named Zadornov.

When it is found out he's KGB, Paz is able to come up with a story that she was unaware of him, and that as he was paying for her room and board, she has no where to go.  She begs to come to the MSF and says that she will work for her room and board, showing that this other side of her is eager to help out in exchange for kindnesses.

She plays a bit timid and unsure, although she laughs and smiles frequently with some of the people who know her more.  She also professes a love of all things, and that an understanding of them will help prevent wars (an excuse she uses loosely when asked to name a kitten, of which she calls him Nuke).  When asked directly if she likes anyone, she blushes and acts shy, saying she hasn't even thought about that!  Although when pressured, she lets on that she may like Big Boss.

Overall, Paz' persona is that of a normal girl who has been through tough times.  Still gentle, she has an overall view of the world, but still wants to have friends and fellowship.

As for her true feelings towards Big Boss, they are complicated.  She not only truly believes that he is foolish and easy to manipulate, she believes that sometimes he has no real sense of the world as a whole.  Yet at the same time, Paz can't help but admire Big Boss, who is willing to do whatever it takes to complete a mission, even if that mission was just given as a promise, and who cares and loves all those who he has accepted into his fold.

Although she formerly let on to Cecile and Amanda that she might like Big Boss, it's shown for sure that she does like him by a comment made about feeling like she lost to Miller.  These feelings are not predominant, however, and are only a small part of the whole.

First Person Sample:

Third Person Sample: Paz couldn't understand it. She knew this was entirely possible, knew her cover could potentially be blown, but it still didn't make any of it easier on her. Yet she should have been stronger than that, should have just bottled things back up as she finished the repair to what little she had broken of ZEKE. She shouldn't have felt this anger that she wouldn't have one day, to just be, to just exist with no battle, no war, and just as Paz without a goal.

Yet it didn't work that way. Chico came in. He saw her messing with ZEKE, and he would tell. She could have shot him, probably should have, but even that would have destroyed things, and Paz genuinely liked the boy, even if he was full of foolish hopes and dreams like everyone else she seemed to meet. It would be bad enough he would feel betrayal, but she saw no reason to kill him and make it harder on herself.

'But,' Paz' subconscious kicked in now, telling her the truth she would be loathe to admit to others. 'You may still kill him, or hurt him, when you do this. Why not make it easier, take him out now, before he risks getting hurt?'

Her hands stopped as these thoughts echoed, and she looked down at them, quiet. The other side of her brain, further back, slapped down and hidden told her something she didn't want to hear. That perhaps she hoped that Big Boss was as good as he was said to be, that even if she took ZEKE out the damage and the pain would be minimal.

'But they'll still feel the pain of betrayal.' That first voice said, and Paz growled lowly, flinging the wrench she had down. The repair was done and she had no need of caution, that's what she told herself anyway, but the truth was she was angry and tears were springing to her eyes.

Yes, she didn't understand. All she wanted was that one day, but she'd known it could be taken from her, so why was she angry and upset? Why was it, that no matter how much she had said she hated everyone, everything, part of her wanted Paz to be real and Pacifica to be the fake? Why did she want to turn away and pretend, act as if she never existed, if even just to dull the pain she felt... and the pain the others would feel?

She knew the answers, Cipher, KGB, they knew her. The MSF wouldn't trust her afterwards, and someone else seemed to know about Cipher's plans to begin, so she wouldn't be safe. If she tried to run, she'd be caught, and then what? Life itself would become a living hell all over again, maybe worse than before.

Yet she wanted, desired... and knew it was foolish. It made no sense, to be conflicted that way, but she was. And soon, there would be no turning back, whether she understood or not; everything was ending, and she saw no new beginning before her. Just another day, another plan, or maybe - and perhaps this would be best for her? - death.

An eternal cycle she could never hope to break. Dreams and friendships she could never hope to have. Just another day... If she had had that, she would have been happy.


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January 2012

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